Something I hear a lot... from a lot of different people is "your past doesn't have to define you" usually it is in response to something that they think I should regret, or something I did that they classify as a "mistake". To me, this phrase can mean one of two things:
1. You don't have to keep making the same mistakes, you can learn to be a better person and stop making mistakes altogether.
2. You should just forget about the things that you "regret" because they don't really matter. You are a different person than the one in your past, so just forget about it.
I use quotes around regret because usually the people telling me the past doesn't matter also think that I regret things. I don't.
I don't know about you, but I like making mistakes. Mistakes are a huge part in learning and living. If you don't let yourself make mistakes, how will you learn?
When you are young, your parents, if they are good parents, will tell you not to touch the stove because it is hot, you listen but you don't really know for sure if it is hot or not so maybe you take your hand and let it hover over the coils to feel the heat. Maybe you still aren't sure so you touch it real quick. Just long enough to feel how hot it is. Maybe you touched it a little too long and now your fingers are a little burnt.
Maybe that isn't the kind of "mistake" you were thinking of, but it is the same idea. How can you know not to do something unless you try it yourself? Even if your parents tell you not to, that it will hurt, how can you just blindly trust them?
Now, maybe you are someone who has a lot of faith in that everyone is honest, or that everything someone says to you is the truth and you should listen and believe, but I am not. I have burnt myself many times, both physically and metaphorically, and I am glad for that. If I had not been daring, stupid, rebellious, I might never know some of the things I know now.
In response to the meanings of "your past doesn't have to define you":
1. Sometimes you have to make mistakes multiple times and making mistakes has nothing to do with how good of a person I am. I don't want to stop making mistakes because when that happens, I have stopped learning and teaching myself.
2. I don't want to forget about the mistakes I have made, and I certainly don't regret them. They are all a small part of who I am and I am grateful for that. I like the person I am and I would never change the mistakes I have made.
It's funny because the same people that use this phrase, are also the people that say, "your past has made you who you are today" or something along those lines.
Maybe it's just me, but those two statements are a little contradicting.
Basically, you should forget about your past because it doesn't matter but you should remember it too because it made you who you are today. If you stop making mistakes, you'll be a better person, but the mistakes you made previously have made you a better person.
wut.
I prefer to live according to this: My past defines me.
I am perfectly at peace with that because it is true. I am happy that my parents allowed me to make the mistakes I have. I wouldn't be the person I am today if they hadn't and if I hadn't taken advantage of that. Also, I regret nothing because to me, it was all a learning experience and there is no better way to learn than that from experience... and I love to learn.
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