The idea of dating used to be, as I understand anyway, courting.
When people would date someone its because they saw them as marriage material and the whole point of dating/seeing them was to end up marrying them someday.
Maybe I just have absolutely horrible luck... or maybe I'm just not "marriage material" (I worked at subway though so I have good experience making sandwiches) but in my experience the idea of dating wasn't so that we would get married some day is was more of an "I want something from you" kind of thing. Not with everyone, but most. Needless to say the majority of my relationships have only lasted a few weeks, the longest being 5 months. because I don't put up with that crap.
When I date I do look for qualities that I want in a husband and if I don't see what I want to see I'll break it off because there is no point in wasting each others time.
Not only do people not take dating seriously, it is extremely confusing. There is a difference between "talking" to someone and "talking" to someone. There is a difference between going on a date with someone and actually dating someone.
"talking" either means you are just talking... having a conversation with someone. or "talking can mean you and the person you are interested in are... "seeing" each other but not "officially" and you aren't sure that you want to date yet. You can't say you are "talking" unless the other person feels the same way. Just like you can't say you are dating if the other person doesn't want to. Also, in this "talking" stage, it is perfectly acceptable to be "talking" to more than just one person. I don't follow that because I think it is shady to be interested in two people at once, but that's just me. If you are "talking" to someone, in my experience, it is perfectly acceptable to cease all contact with them at random. This usually means that they have chosen someone else over you and don't want to have to deal with your reaction. Oh, and you shouldn't be mad or upset about it because you were "just talking" you weren't dating or anything so it shouldn't matter. This is also the time when you get bombarded with compliments and "i like you" texts. (even if they don't really mean it)
If you go on a date with someone, it doesn't mean you are dating or exclusive. It just means you both like each other and like the company. Kind of like friendship but you both like each other more than friends... This is especially confusing to me because when I like someone and they like me back I like to be exclusive. I like people to know that the person I like is mine and I am theirs and that we like each other enough to be faithful to each other... but that isn't really how it works at all. When you start dating, nothing really changes other than people know you two are together so they think its a good time to try to get with your significant other. Even if that person was really unpopular and never talked to anyone but you, once people know that person is taken, He's the most popular guy in the world. If, by some miracle, you get past that point, I applaud you but you've still got a long way to go.
In the first few weeks/months of dating you and your significant other spend all the time you can with each other. usually that dies down and when it does sometimes one of you is left wondering what you did to make the other person not want to see you. You didn't do anything. Sometimes people like their space. But if you bring up the fact that you don't see each other as much as you did in the beginning, all of the sudden you become clingy and annoying.
Pardon me, but I like to be open and honest and if someone just stops spending time with me & texting me back with no warning, I'm going to think it's because I did something wrong or they are uninterested. I'm not one to not bring things up that are bothering me so usually when things like that happen, I bring it up. I think communication is really important in a relationship and it doesn't make any sense to me why I get the "crazy" label when I want to talk about each others feelings. It's important to be on the same page as each other. I, for one, don't want to waste my time liking someone who doesn't like me back. That being said, I don't think it is ever to early to talk about your feelings with each other because I think hiding the fact that I like you is really stupid. I'm going to be honest about it because if you like me back, then maybe this relationship will go somewhere, and if not, I can find someone else to like. But apparently if you do that too soon, some people think you want a relationship right away and it ruins everything.
Another thing that REALLY bothers me is I don't usually meet people I am interested in that actually live in Mentone (shocking, I know) but for some reason, if you live more than 5 minutes away it's way too far and the relationship is not even worth trying for. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to pass someone up just because it takes an hour to get to their house. Distance is one of the most overused, stupid reasons for not dating someone.
I guess its just me. Maybe I have a different idea of what a relationship is supposed to be and mean than most people do. Maybe I'm too open about my feelings and that scares people away. I'd rather be open and honest than have my significant other wonder, worry, and assume how I feel, because usually, the things they assume are far from the truth.
